A person’s wedding is one of the most memorable, important, and high points in an individual’s life. At a time when a man and a woman want to make the ultimate commitment to spend the rest of their lives together, the desire to have personalized vows is certainly understandable. This is one of the most unique and special days in a person’s life, so if you want to speak your own personal wedding vows, than by all means, you should go for it!
Writing your own vows can be intimidating. Wedding days always add pressure to even the most mundane of tasks, and certainly writing the vows you want to say to your significant other in front of all your friends and family is no small matter! Still, don’t let fear cause you to go along with some basic commonly used wedding vows if you really want that personalized touch. Just follow a few basic tips, and this will help you be on your way to writing the tips your future spouse deserves!
Make sure your ceremony officiant will actually allow personalized vows. Certain celebrants and houses of worship may require you to recite a specific set of traditional vows. And remember: Even some of the most accommodating officiants will want to review your words in advance.
Create an Outline
An outline can get you started by helping to establish a structure. For example, plan to first talk about how great your fiance is and then about how you work together as a couple; pause to quote your favorite writer and then go into your promises to each other.
Schedule Some Alone Time
After chatting with your future spouse, take some self-reflection time to think about how you feel about your partner. What did you think when you first saw them? When did you realize you were in love? What do you most respect about your partner? How has your life gotten better since meeting your mate? What about them inspires you? What do you miss most about them when you’re apart? What qualities do you most admire in each other? What do you have now that you didn’t have before you met? You may be surprised how these answers may lead you to the perfect words.
Write from the heart.
Your wedding day represents the epitome of love between you and your future spouse. The two of you are together for a reason. Anything you write should be honest and from your heart, because that is what will really make your words special. You don’t have to be Robert Frost or Emily Dickinson. If you are a poet, great. Keep in mind, though, that in the end words are just words. Your wedding vows do not have to be an amazing classic piece of literature—they need to be an honest display of your feelings for the other person. Don’t use long poetical words if all it does is put distance between your words and your feelings.
It’s okay to brainstorm.
Before you set down to write everything, make a list of the things about your spouse that you absolutely love about your spouse, then make a list of the commitments you want to make. Figure out what parts of those lists you really want to include (keep in mind the vows are read in front of families and friends) and keep those.
Short and Sweet.
Don’t make them too long — aim for about one minute or so (it’s longer than it sounds!). Your vows are the most important element of your ceremony, but that doesn’t mean they should go on for hours. Get at the heart of what marrying this person means to you with your vows; pick the most important points and make them well. Save some thoughts for the reception toasts — and for the wedding night. It doesn’t take many words or a lot of time to make your heart known to everyone present. A lot can be said in a really short time, so don’t feel like you have to make the vows any longer than they naturally come out.
Practice Out Loud (Yes, really)
These are words meant to be heard by a live audience, so check that they sound good when spoken. Read your vows out loud to make sure they flow easily. Watch out for tongue twisters and super-long sentences — you don’t want to get out of breath or stumble.
Follow these four tips, and you’ll find yourself getting over your worries to write some great wedding vows that your spouse will love!